Men VS. Women: The "Nagging" Argument

Why is it that the minute women open their mouth about something that's bothering them with regard to something men are doing or not doing, it is immediately interpreted as "nagging"?

It seems fairly obvious that on average, men are far less troubled about the same types of things that might trouble a woman. If it doesn't immediately affect them, it doesn't faze them. Because of this, as a woman when things start to bother you, the man becomes exasperated, wondering
why you can't be like him and brush things off. They wonder why you demand so much of them all the time.

Fact: Men like sex. Thus, men like women - speaking traditionally obviously. Some men even love women and either have the intention of or are currently spending their lives with one woman.

Fact: Women are feeling creatures. They have emotions -lots of them. Women take far more interest in the small things in life.

So, if you're a man and you love a woman, why is it so hard to understand that along with sex comes a woman. Along with a woman comes emotions and concerns that you will have to deal with from time to time The immediate response to a woman expressing concerns cannot be that she's "nagging" again. It's amazing to me that 9 times out of 10, a man can alleviate most of his perceived annoyance from the woman, by simply listening and acknowledging her concerns, then conveying a desire to understand and to help. Notice how I did not say by trying to fix her problem. I said, "listening and acknowledging her concerns, then conveying a desire to understand and to help." Men are known for being the "fixers". They want to fix things because once the problem is fixed, they no longer have to deal with it and they can carry on doing whatever it is that's important to them. If it doesn't seem like there is a quick solution to "fix" the problem, they quickly begin to lose interest and you as the woman, are now back and square one. The ironic thing is that merely listening and attempting to understand is often all the fixing that was needed. Yet, despite that fact that most men are already aware of this fabulous fix-it solution, it's still one of the most widely acknowledged problems in the battle of Venus vs. Mars.



As woman we desperately need to practice our tactics when something is bothering us. This seems like a given, but I'm going to say it any - do not approach your man to talk while the game is on or while is favorite TV show is on. You are asking for whatever negative response you receive with that kind of behavior. Avoid saying, "We need to talk." Now this my work for some, but in my experience approaching a man in this manner is like watching a dog on alert where he up on his hind legs with his hair standing straight up! Approach the conversation casually at a moment where there aren't too many other distractions going on. Don't preach your point of view or point your finger at him reminding him of his 3rd grade English teacher. Be calm and above all else be respectful. It's is often wise to have thought hard about what you want to say so you can say it in the most concise, most brief manner possible. A man's attention span is often short so the quicker you can get your point across the better.

Practicing these methods of approaching your man about a problem will make it easier on both of you in the long run. For many men, it may take a while for them to appreciate your needs and concerns, but keep at it. For some, it may seem like no matter what you do they just don't listen. They don't want to hear it. They aren't open to communicating.

To those men I say, if you wanted a person who was rarely bothered by anything, a person who always lets things roll off their shoulder and who rarely asks a thing of you.... you should have married a man!!!