Thursday, September 10, 2009

Debatable Questions: Why Are We Never Satisfied?


I haven’t done a “Debatable Questions” post in a while so it’s definitely about time for one!

Can someone please tell me why we are never satisfied? And yes, by “we” I am referring to the collective multitude of women in the world who seem to always want more.

How often do we really just stop to smell the roses and appreciate our current situation?

If we are single, we long for a relationship. If we are dating and in a less than thrilling relationship, we miss being single. If we are in a committed relationship or married, we wish our significant other were more (whatever it may be this week) . Granted, there are plenty of single women who would make great girlfriends or wives, plenty who are probably better off single, and plenty who genuinely do have a man or husband that may be careless or neglectful in whatever aspect it may be.

However, do we ever just stop and feel true satisfaction with our relationship status? Specifically, I’m thinking of those women who are in relationships. Do you find yourself always picking apart what’s wrong with your man… why’s he always doing this? Why can’t he just that? Every now and again just stop and consider your life without that person. Stop and reflect on all the ways that person actually makes you smile (when he IS doing something right). Remind yourself how you ended up in the relationship to begin with.

I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes, men need work and it often takes years for them to figure out what we as women actually want or expect from them. They need constant reminder of what makes us sad, what makes us happy, when to speak and when to shut the hell up! Nevertheless, as women we should remember that we are the ones with all the parameters. We are the ones with most of the emotions and the overly analytical minds. Most men who’ve been married for many years will agree to the saying that “A happy wife makes a happy life.” That saying is true because women are the ones who need the constant love, constant care, constant attention, and constant reassurance.

At times it may seem like your man is hopeless and will never get it right. But that doesn’t mean that he isn’t trying and that he doesn’t want to make you happy. On average, the younger you are, the more hopeless your man will seem and the opposite is true for the older wiser man, who has had some years to master the game!

I challenge myself and all women like me in relationships to take at least one day out of the week to let your man off the hook. Whatever hook it may be, let him off! Did he not notice you were upset after a discussion you guys had? Was he more interested in watching the big game with the guys than helping you serve snacks to your guests? Was he completely ignoring you when you tried to ask him to do something, making you repeat yourself? Did he leave the toilet seat up for the 20th time? (One I am all too familiar with!) Let it go for today.

Your man is never going to be perfect or anything even remotely close to it. The sooner we as woman can accept that and learn to let the small things go, the happier our relationships will be. If there is a problem that you feel warrants extra attention and can’t be let go, deal with it. Talk to your man and tell him the problem. Then leave it alone. Chances are you will probably have to talk to him about it again… and maybe even again. However, a man is likely to be more receptive if he isn’t made to constantly feel inadequate. Approach him calmly, directly and get to the point as quickly as possible!

Men and women will never see eye to eye. We think differently and act differently. The battle will always be the goal of attaining the “Happy wife. Happy Life” sentiment, regardless of whether they realize that is the goal of the battle or not! Every now and again, just give it a rest and give him a break. Be satisfied with what you have and in who you are spending your life with. Snuggle up with the careless, forgetful, hardheaded, little punk and enjoy him for who and what he is… A man…. Your man.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep in mind Men want what they want and expect to get it. Or go out and get it themselves. Or talk someone in to getting it for them.
Women are taught to suppress thier wants so that some one else can have. And when we go to the same lengths that men go to, we are considered spoiled or whiners or Bitches.
There is nothing wrong with acknowledging a mans faults to yourself and those who know him. But it can be done without apparent "Bitchiness". Or at least talk to someone who will not repeat what you have said so that he can willingly misinterpet it. And deflect the issue by saying, "you were talking about me behind my back!"(like they don't do the same.)
If you can talk about his shortcomings in a way that leads to your acceptance of them, more power to you. Don't expect the same back from him. In general people choose what's best for themselves at a time convenient only to themselves.

♥Nikki Ms.Healthy KISSES♥ said...

Oh how I LOVED this so much. You have the gift of knowledge, lol. This coudn't be more true about women, in fact I will be extra nice to my BF tonight because I put him through the ringer, lol.

Khalia@GlamourandLove said...

I hear ya Nikki! I was just thinking after I posted the blog that my hubby was going to see it so I should probably make sure I attempt to follow my own advice!!!